43 Things I Have Learned By Now

Tommi Laitio
4 min readSep 22, 2020

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(Originally published on Facebook on my birthday 30 July 2020) I turn 43 today. By now, I have learned at least the following 43 things.

Image: Kimmo Brandt / City of Helsinki
  1. It is smart to own a pair of rubber boots.
  2. Shame is an emotion focused on one self. It prevents and blocks your ability to empathise. That is one the reasons why shaming is not a tool for building a fairer world. (Brené Brown)
  3. In a crisis situation people need clarity and safety.
  4. It is dumb to postpone booking a doctor´s appointment if you have the ability and a worry.
  5. A broad range of experiences should be seen as a right, not only as a possibility. Only by experiencing enough, you can know what you like and don’t like. That way the world is not perceived as a threat. This is the prime motivation for me to do what I do for work.
  6. Bread stays crispy and fresh when you keep it on the cutting board without the paper bag so that the cutting side is against the cutting board. (Väyrysen leipomo)
  7. When you meet or read an interview of an interesting person, it makes sense to write their name on a list. The list is handy when you are being asked for suggestions of “good people”. Check regularly that the list has a fair representation of women and non-white people.
  8. One should not play Monopoly.
  9. Martyrdom is appealing but pointless — and even slightly self-centered.
  10. Everyone is going through something. If we would only remember that.
  11. The opposite of a racist is not “not a racist” but an antiracist. There is no neutral space. Committing to antiracism means that one will identify racist patterns in one’s own speech and actions. (Ibram X Kendi)
  12. It is really difficult to draw people’s hands.
  13. The quantified self tools easily create more pressure. Sleep is not improved by applying more pressure to do well.
  14. ‘What do you want’ is one of the worst questions to ask in public sector participation and engagement as it triggers people to be selfish.
  15. You can make a fairly decent taco from a fish stick, lime and grated cabbage.
  16. Muji’s 0.38 ballpoint pen is probably the best pen I have ever used.
  17. One of the wonderful aspects of being an adult is that you can listen to music you actually like. If you’re moved by country and folk, listen to them.
  18. Gaming, especially by boys, often ticks all boxes of an addiction. Often kids know themselves that they play too much and that they are not able to control their gaming. If you want kids to play less, the best strategy is not to criticize gaming and demand them to do something else. It is much more efficient to show interest, play a bit together and suggest something concrete to do together and create shared rules together.
  19. Stretching after a workout is not a sign of weakness.
  20. You become a good writer only by writing.
  21. My favourite pizza has tomato sauce, cherry tomatoes, basil, cheese and anchovies. (Jackie)
  22. The most beautiful running path in Helsinki goes through Lauttasaari, Kaskisaari, Lehtisaari and Huopalahti.
  23. If someone asks you to be their mentor, say yes.
  24. At an ice cream stand, always go for the new and unknown.
  25. Art auctions online are great places for dreaming.
  26. If you want that minority members would also been seen as individuals, it makes sense to stop using expressions like “white straight men” in a derogatory way. (Ibram X Kendi)
  27. Eggplant needs to be “cried out” standing up, not laying flat. This way the salt water is not soaked into the slices. (Chef Albert of NamiNamaste)
  28. When I am asked what animal I would be, my answer is squirrel.
  29. You create more interesting and inclusive discussions in a classical music concert or at an art exhibition by asking ‘what did this make you feel’ than by asking ‘how did you like it’.
  30. Prime Minister Syndrome ends leadership careers. It is when your face says: I would have so much more important things to do than sit here listening to your small worries and incoherent rambling.
  31. Pamela Adlon’s TV series Better Things is a brilliant and funny series on parenting and would deserve more attention.
  32. Ordering groceries online with home delivery is a blessing.
  33. Belonging to a minority develops your skill in “reading the room”.
  34. Easy and tasty Spanish omelette: whisk eggs really fluffy, add a small bag of potato chips, turn around lightly, fry on a pan. No salt needed. (Ferran Adrià)
  35. Kindness is an underrated trait, especially in men.
  36. It is easier to suggest straight-forward solutions to other people’s problems than our own because we know much more about our own reality.
  37. Quicker way to make crispy potato wedges: preheat oven. Put an oven dish with foil into the oven to heat up. Chop and season potatoes. Microwave them for 5–6 mins. Pour them on the hot foil and let get crispy. (Ric Savage)
  38. Accepting generosity is more difficult than showing it.
  39. Every person who primarily uses their brain and mouth in their work, should find something to do with their hands in their free time.
  40. People are much more passionate in giving feedback on sports services than cultural services.
  41. It is good to have friends of various ages.
  42. At this age it is already good to learn a morning exercise routine.
  43. Some people are scared of art in the same way as others are scared of sports.

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Tommi Laitio
Tommi Laitio

Written by Tommi Laitio

Used to run libraries, culture, youth and sports for Helsinki. Research and development on conditions for co-existence and public spaces. www.tommilaitio.com

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